Legal Battle of Pensioner Who Massaged His Bottom Over Public Hot Tub Jet at Baths. A 79 Year old retired engineer found himself explaining how frequently he had erections to a lady prosecutor in a German court following an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction incident over a hot tub water jet at the local baths. More below…
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Just to set the record straight – this story is not autobiographical! Generally speaking we Brits tend to be a bit old fashioned when we go to the swimming baths. We don’t encourage some of the ‘clothing optional‘ bathing habits of our European neighbours – especially in our public baths – like the one in the photo below. The Germans on the other hand invented FKK or Freikörperkultur – which roughly translated means Free Body Culture (or for those readers in the North of England ‘getting your togs off in public’).
Considering how liberal our German friends are I was rather surprised to come across an article in their National Press this morning that illustrated a somewhat more ‘sensitive‘ picture. The Süddeutschezeitung (somewhere between the ‘Times’ and the ‘Guardian’ in its standing as a respectable newspaper) reported in graphic detail how a pensioner had to appear in court under a charge that his swimming trunks had slipped down at the local baths. Goodness knows how they would deal with the visible anal cleavage displayed by many English construction workers.
The incident appeared in the Phoenix Bad (“Bath”) in Ottobrunn, part of the delightful state of Bavaria. Among its many attractions these facilities boast a sauna (special ‘men only’ on Monday mornings) and spa (link to the Phoenix Bad site). Upon further investigation I discovered that the gentleman, Mr Karl K…, suffered the misfortune that his trunks unexpectedly slipped down while standing in the pool next to a “massage jet”. Herr K…. suffered with his sciatic nerve and found that his regular visits to the pool with its massage jets helped to ease his pain – he is 89 years of age (see photo in this Link to TZ Newspaper Article ‘Pensioner accused of being exhibitionist’)
Herr K…. was called before the court because a 60 year old fellow swimmer believed she had seen something ‘unsightly‘ in the bubbling water in front of the man. The lady made this observation while doing a handstand in the water wearing her swimming goggles (from the original court text: “Wobei eine Dame, die gerade einen Unterwasserhandstand absolvierte, durch ihre Schwimmbrille ‘was rumschwimmen’ hat sehen“). The lady further explained that the man had a very enjoyable relaxed expression on his face (“Dabei hatte er so einen entspannten Gesichtsausdruck“).
In the TZ article Mr K…. explained that he had been married three times and was now a widow. He did not have a criminal record and had worked all his life as an engineer. He had been a regular visitor to the pool for 27 years and kept fit by swimming a couple of lengths followed by a ‘session’ with the massage jets. Perhaps this had ‘dislodged’ his trunks? He would then relax by lying on one of the beds. This helped him with his sciatic pain. It was during such a process that a lady observed him exposing himself and raised a charge against him. She later withdrew the charge upon discovering his age but the German prosecutor decided it was in the best interest of the public to continue with the case.
As a result the pensioner, supported by his walking stick and lawyer, had to appear before the local court. He was accused of taking down his swimming trunks and ‘playing around’ (“an sich herumgespielt“). He explained that perhaps the water jets caused his trunks to slip down but you would really have to look closely to see anything because of the bubbling water.
His defence lawyer, Mr Wilfried Sydow, then decided to get straight to the point and asked him whether he was still capable of getting an erection? (apparently the witness claimed to have seen this before withdrawing her charge). He explained that he could not – the last time he had experienced such a development was 5 or 6 years ago. The prosecutor pronounced that due to the ‘legal complexities’ involved she would stand the case down upon payment by the accused of €500 to a women’s charity organisation.
Mr K…. is permitted to resume his visits to the swimming baths but the prosecutor strongly advised him to keep his trunks on at all times in order to avoid any further ‘misunderstandings’.
Once again the ChrisDuggleby.com site cuts through the Fake News to bring to you matters of international importance as reported by the European national press. Many readers will be considering a holiday in Germany this year so please be warned not to take the liberal reputation of the locals for granted. Although some places will accept nude bathing it is important to understand that this is not generally the case – transgressions can lead to legal proceedings.
I, for one, intend to install some extra strong knicker elastic into my swimming trunks before my next trip to Bavaria!
If in doubt be modest!
Chris Duggleby
If you found this article interesting please consider taking a look at some of my other recent reports on similar subjects.
Just click on the titles below:
…starting with some fun related articles:
28th Feb 2017: Vaccinations Cause Children to Masturbate – Public Frustration At Austrian Article:
4th March 2015: Hamburg Reeperbahn (St. Pauli): Germans install walls that urinate on passers-by
17th April 2014: Niche On-line Dating Services (Specialities: Herpes, Thrush and Genital Warts)
You can also find some of my more humorous reports in the Alpine Press section of this site using the link here.
some here is some more serious stuff:
12th June 2016 Hospital Serial Killer – Super Bugs Created With Jumping Genes During Bacterial Sex
19th April 2016 Torture In The Shower – Face and Body Soap Allergies – Main Suspect: Pears Transparent Soap
3rd March 2016 Using Gene Drives To Change Mosquito Sex In Fight Against Zika, Dengue and Malaria
3rd Feb 2016 Zika Infection Spread By Sex In Dallas – Earlier Sexual Transmission In Colorado – Detailed Symptoms
31st Jan 2016 Bed Bugs – Insecticide Resistance – Arbovirus Transmission – Zika and Microcephy
…please visit chrisduggleby.com again.
Chris Duggleby 