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Today’s article reviews how Norwegian fisherman, Bjørn Frilund, found a vibrating sex toy inside a cod and speculates whether this could be connected with recent changes in the sleeping arrangements proposed for the Norwegian Army. It concludes with a passionate rendition of Rule Britannia to celebrate St. George’s day.

In the last few days I came across some major developments in Norwegian recycling technology which need to be brought to the attention of the international community.

Norwegian Plastics Recycling Breakthrough

In the oil industry they have been trying for many years to develop mutant bugs which can break down and eat the unpleasant residues from crude oil spills. Similarly microbes which can eat plastics might help to reduce the growing mountain of indestructible packaging products created by mankind. However the Norwegians have demonstrated once again their Viking ingenuity by developing cod which are able to eat large pieces of waste plastic.

My understanding is that the fisheries authorities in Norway are trying to find ways to diversify their fishing industry. One of their top secret projects reputedly involves producing mutant cod which are able to eat up some of the considerable volumes of plastic waste floating about in the World’s oceans.

My expectation is that Norwegian fishing vessels, which are constantly struggling with fish quotas, would release these mutant, plastic eating cod, into the oceans and then harvest them as part of a scientific fish monitoring programme (regular readers will remember my article describing how the Japanese have used this approach to justify hunting and killing whales – if you missed it please use this link).

Suddenly the negative publicity from over-fishing the oceans would be turned on its head as the Norwegian fleet would be seen as saving the oceans from the scourge of man-made plastics. They would catch the cod in their nets, split them open to remove the plastics and then pass on the juicy bits to their local fish and chip shops.

So far so good but those of us who have worked in the lab producing mutants know only too well that you need to be very careful when releasing these new organisms into the wild. It looks as if the Norwegians may have been rather hasty by releasing at least one (and possibly more) of their experimental plastic-eating cod into the ocean.

The highly respectable Norwegian Newspaper Åndalsnes Avis ran an article on the 10th April under the title “FANGET TORSK, FANT DILDO” – which for those not blessed with Norwegian language skills means “Caught Cod, Found Dildo“. It would appear that the Norwegian fisheries authorities have been caught red-handed (well actually the object in question was more of an orange colour). The fisherman who caught the beast, Bjørn Frilund, said he was cutting up his catch when he noticed its stomach was a rather unusual shape. In addition to two partly digested herrings he discovered that the cod had eaten a rather brightly coloured orange vibrator. He thought that perhaps the cod had mistaken the sex toy for a local octopus – these also happen to be multicoloured.

Bjørn even speculated as to how the vibrator, which still had a small motor attached to one end, may have entered the ocean – “perhaps it had been tossed off a boat by a frustrated woman on a cruise in the Barents Sea“. Well maybe not – read on!

If you would like to read the original article in Norwegian (with photos) please follow the link by clicking here. For those who struggle with the local language you can read an English version in Norway’s News in English Paper ‘The Local‘ by clicking here.

So What’s This Got To Do With The Norwegian Army?

Interestingly at about the same time that Bjørn Frilund was discovering sex toys inside fish I was preparing an article for publication on the outcome of research carried out on behalf of the Norwegian military. This looked at the impact on troop motivation and levels of sexual descrimination/harassment when male and female soldiers were allowed to sleep in mixed quarters. In case you missed this important article just click on the title below:

31st March 2014: Women In the Army: Germany – Problems with Sexual Harassment,Scandinavian Solution ….Sleeping Together

Now I am sure that it is merely an interesting coincidence that shortly after the Norwegian authorities decided to allow both sexes to share sleeping facilities that unwanted lady’s sex toys started to be discarded into the sea around Norway’s shoreline.

I think we can call it a coincidence as long as Bjørn’s find turns out to be unique. If fisherman start to discover fish containing more plastic items of a discrete feminine nature there may be a link to the recent developments in the military. Meanwhile I have heard a rumour that Scandinavian environmentalists are trying to develop lady’s intimate play things in the shape of octopuses to make them easier to recycle. I will monitor developments and keep you informed.

Women dressed as sailors and singing

My final item today is somewhat celebratory in nature. Next week on Wednesday it is the 23rd of April. This is the birthday of the UK’s first blogger, William Shakespeare, it is also the date when the German Beer Purity Law was introduced in Bavaria (yes I expect more parties in our local beer gardens next week). It is also St. George’s day: the patron saint of England and famous slayer of unpleasant fire spitting creatures. I explained more about the history of all of these events in an earlier blog which can be found by clicking here.

In line with both the nautical and military flavour of this week’s blog and to remind the world’s Anglophiles that its not just the Norwegians who are fond of sailors here is a little song by a lady who could make any Viking tremble. I had such an enthusiastic response to my recent article featuring a video of Land of Hope and Glory (which you can view again here) that I would like to share with you today an excellent rendition of Rule Britannia in its original form. Take it away Sarah Connolly (just click on the picture below):

If any readers expect to eat fish over the Easter festive period please remember that its only the little chocolate eggs that contain the plastic toys – not the cod. For modesty’s sake I suggest you gut the fish when the children are not around – just in case.

Enjoy St. George’s day.

Chris Duggleby

If you found this article interesting you might also like to take a look at some of my other recent reviews. Just click on the titles below:

17th April 2014: Niche On-line Dating Services (Specialities: Herpes, Thrush and Genital Warts)

18th March 2014: Germany and Finland Joint Investigation: New Case of Sexual Cannibalism Including Self-mutilation (Castration) During Intercourse.

7th March 2014: Invasive Alien Species (IAS) Discovered in France – Potential for European Ecosystem Disaster

4th March 2014: 30,000 Year old giant virus found in the Siberian Permafrost and ‘resurrected’ – it is still infectious!

2nd March 2014: Wolves are better at learning from their ‘pals’ than dogs.Through domestication dogs have lost a capability that is key to success in the wild.

24th February 2014: Ant Wars: Crazy Ants deploy Chemical Warfare against Poisonous Fire Ants and their Amphibious Craft.

9th March 2013: Insects getting hooked on psychoactive drugs – How plants take advantage of bees by giving them a caffeine buzz.

29th December 2012: Spreading diarrhea and vomit through the washing machine – The Norovirus propagator in our kitchen. 

18th August 2012: How Bavarians and Austrians use their middle finger – Fingerhakeln: a men-only sport (did Arnold Schwarzenegger start training this way?).

4th August 2012: Sexual Equality on the Slide: It Started with Men-only Parking in Triberg – Now we have a Men-only Waterslide in Erding.

14th July 2012: Animal Emergencies and Horror Stories: Buzzards Attack Joggers, Horse Nearly Drowns in Poo, Ducklings Down the Drain.

If you find this kind of news interesting there are plenty more articles on my Alpine Press contents page which you can find here. Why not add this site to your browser favourites or subscribe to get regular updates?

If you enjoyed reading about how Norwegian fisherman, Bjørn Frilund, found a vibrator in a cod, the innovative mixed sleeping arrangements in the Norwegian Army  or the passionate rendition of Rule Britannia to celebrate St. George’s day please visit http://www.chrisduggleby.com again.

While you read the following article why not listen to my e-baroque compositions – just click on the box below:

or if techno music is more your cup of tea here are my techno/ambient compositions:

I hope you find the information below interesting…please visit chrisduggleby.com again.

I would like to dedicate this week’s blog to encouraging the Japanese authorities to abide by the final ruling of the International Court of Justice (31st March 2014) that Japan’s whaling program was not for scientific purposes. The ruling also forbade the granting of further permits for research whaling by Japan (a copy of the ruling can be found here). I would like to ask Japan, and its fellow industrial whaling countries like Norway and Island to consider ending all slaughter of whales on the basis that it causes considerable pain and suffering for questionable commercial gain.

Regular visitors to http://www.chrisduggleby.com will be well aware that I am very fortunate in being able to spend a large amount of time during the European winter on the South African coast. I actually have my office workstation there positioned so that I can admire the whales as they swim past and sometimes manage to click photos like the ones below. Its a bit like heaven: sunshine, writing books and amazing free entertainment from one of the mammalian wonders of the world.

The reason for the International Court of Justice’s ruling relates to the Japanese Government’s view that it could continue to kill whales for scientific purposes based on a clause (VIII) in the International Convention for the Regulation of Whaling. That clause said:

 1. Notwithstanding anything contained in this Convention any Contracting Government may grant to any of its nationals a special permit authorizing that national to kill, take and treat whales for purposes of scientific research subject to such restrictions as to number and subject to such other conditions as the Contracting Government thinks fit, and the killing, taking, and treating of whales in accordance with the provisions of this Article shall be exempt from the operation of this Convention. Each Contracting Government shall report at once to the Commission all such authorizations which it has granted. Each Contracting Government may at any time revoke any such special permit which it has granted.

2. Any whales taken under these special permits shall so far as practicable be processed and the proceeds shall be dealt with in accordance with directions issued by the Government by which the permit was granted

Using this clause Japan has been issuing permits to allow the continued hunting and killing of whales. These whales were then butchered and their remains sold in exactly the same manner as when Japan conducted its normal factory whaling operations.

The case against Japan was bought by Australia, a country which has considerable commercial ties with Japan but was driven by a strong conviction that the deliberate mass slaughter of whales in such a distressful way, for no real benefit to mankind was morally and ethically wrong. The people of Australia were simply not prepared to let their leaders stand by and allow this to continue.

Hundreds of years ago local communities of Japanese fishermen hunted whales in very small numbers to provide the population living near the coast with essential food and other products like oils. At the beginning of the 20th century following the lead of other nations like Norway industrial whaling started in Japan. As a result considerably larger numbers of these mammals where slaughtered and as local stocks became depleted the vessels started to hunt in the oceans far away from their traditional home waters. Eventually regions like the Antarctic became popular hunting grounds for the Japanese whalers. After the second World War the whaling industry was allowed to start again to help feed the starving population of Japan and provide other much needed raw materials. During this time whale meat became a key component in children’s school meals to ensure they received a basic level of nutrition. As a result, towards the second half of the last century many Japanese people had come to consider whale meat to be a normal part of their diet.

In recent times people in Japan and other traditional whale meat eating countries have moved away from this diet. In addition to allegations that it contains toxic levels of methyl mercury (6 times the US FDA limit for food in one study) whale meat can also be contaminated with polychlorinated biphenyls. Pregnant women and children are strongly recommended against eating it. Following the 2011 Fukushima nuclear incident Mink whales caught of the coast of Hokkaido were found to contain radioactive caesium.

These health concerns together with the growing awareness that killing these mammals is both expensive and needlessly traumatic most of the population, even in Japan, is turning away from eating whale meat. The generation that was brought up on whale meat after the war is, to a large part, no longer with us. Therefore the explanation that whale meat is part of the ‘cultural diet‘ is no longer relevant. Due to the lack of demand from humans a lot of the whale meat is now used in processed dog food.

However, whaling – through considerable subsidies from the Japanese government – still continues. On its own it is economically unsustainable, although it is probably still considered to be a negotiating chip when the governments of Japan, Norway and Iceland sit down with the international community to discuss global fishing treaties. It is still responsible for the traumatic death of thousands of whales including their calves, many of them seriously endangered.

As the voting public in Australia have demonstrated it is possible to force otherwise hesitant governments to take appropriate action on matters we consider to be ethically and morally repugnant. Whaling has reached the stage where it just does not make commercial sense to continue. Therefore why should a civilised world allow these creatures to be slaughtered under such barbaric conditions?. If you agree please make your views known to those who could do something – and as a consumer remember that you always have a choice.

I include below some videos which illustrate the barbaric slaughter and suffering of whales pursued by Japanese whaling vessels – and for once I do not apologise for their unpleasant nature. In fact I challenge anyone watching the first one not to reach for a handkerchief.

Thanks for visiting the site, please drop by again

Chris Duggleby

If you found this article of interest you might like to take a look at some of my other articles about important topical subjects. To read these click on the titles below:

6th April 2014: Product Quality Risk: Shoes Sold On-line By Zalando Recalled Due To Chromium 6 Contamination – Known Allergen And Carcinogen 

31st March 2014: Women In the Army: Germany – Problems with Sexual Harassment,Scandinavian Solution ….Sleeping Together

22nd March 2014: Helping the Blind ‘Hear’ Shapes and Pictures – Image Recognition Area of Brain Stimulated by ‘Soundscapes’ in Congenitally Blind – Despite Never Having Seen Before!

18th March 2014: Germany and Finland Joint Investigation: New Case of Sexual Cannibalism Including Self-mutilation (Castration) During Intercourse.

24th February 2014: NAZI Research into the use of Mosquitoes as Biological Weapons to Infect Allied Troops with Malaria.

Many more interesting articles are available from the contents list on my Alpine Press page. To view this just click on the link here. If you like this kind of news please add http://www.chrisduggleby.com to your favourites or subscribe to my RSS feed.