Public Crab Attack Scare – Take Care Sleeping in Berlin – Do Not Catch Crabs – Two Year Prison Sentence

Public Crab Attack Scare – Take Care Sleeping in Berlin – Do Not Catch Crabs – Two Year Prison Sentence: One of Germany’s most popular tourist areas is threatened by infestation with “Alien Crabs“. However many people do not appreciate that that under German law if you catch crabs you could find yourself faced with a hefty fine or up to two years in prison. More below…

Male human louse on a bloodsucking trip

I was staggered to read in the German national press this morning that Berlin is threatened with being ‘overrun by alien crabs‘. Tourists take note: if you find yourself a nice park bench for a rest – you may find you are not alone. The country that prides itself in maintaining order and setting tough hygiene standards is somewhat embarrassed that this infestation has taken hold. What’s worse for the locals is that the species involved is not a native of Germany – this alien vermin originates from America.

Pediculosis pubis on pubic hair

Pubic lice on eye lashes

Before I go on let me make one point of clarification. You may have landed on this page because you were searching for ‘Pubic Crabs‘ – those nasty little insects that like to inhabit pubic hairs and other parts of the human body. However, my focus today is on a different kind of creature – actually a much bigger one – the ‘Public Crab‘. Should you find one of these crawling through your genital hairs you would be well advised to remove it very quickly before it does some serious harm with its large, nasty, chopping claws.

Female Louse Pediculus humanus

Male human louse

To minimise confusion I have included above some pics of pubic lice happily co-existing with a host in their normal habitat. There is no need to worry about these little chums castrating your private equipment – they just want to suck your blood and lay eggs. If pubic lice is your area of interest your time has not been wasted – you can quickly jump (sorry!) to my other recent article about a high tech German invention: the Plasma Nit comb. If your would like to find out more about this development from the famous Fraunhofer Nit-research Institute just click on the article title or on the nitcomb picture below:

Kill Head Lice In A Day With The Newly Developed Plasma Nitcomb From The German Fraunhofer Institute

From Chris Dugglebys article about the Plasmacomb for lice The Fraunhofer Laeusekamm

The German Fraunhofer Research Institute’s Plasma Nitcomb

For those readers who are less interested in pubic infestations but would like to learn more about Berlin’s current public infestation read on. Why is the German national press creating hysteria with headlines about the Alien Swamp Crab (“Sumpfkrebs”) Invasion of Berlin? Well – parts of this iconic capital city are being overrun by bright red American crustaceans. These aliens were recently spotted walking around the streets near the Spanish embassy – presumably flushed out of their cosy underground lair by a summer shower.

These migrants are known is the US as a variety of Crayfish (Latin name Procambarus clarkii) – a culinary favourite in that part of the world known as “the Louisiana Crawfish“. Its natural habitat is normally the Southern US States and northern Mexico (Could this explain the preference for the Spanish embassy?).  It has a very pronounced bright red colour and can grow to be quite large (15 cm). It is this colourful appearance that makes it a favourite among those Berlin residents who like to keep an aquarium.

Procambarus clarkii (Swamp Crab or Crayfish) contemplates sex

One of the problems is that in the comfortable, protected environment of a German domestic aquarium crayfish can live for about 5 years. As they get bigger some owners find their size can overwhelm the rest of the ‘exhibits’. Alternatively they may just get bored with looking at the same crustacean for 5 years. So their ‘pet’ Sumpfkrebs may get relegated to the garden pond or be accidentally mislaid during a walkies in the local park. Once freed of their celibate imprisonment these passionate creatures are, unsurprisingly, desperate for a bit of sexual adventure.

Procambarus clarkii – note potential castration danger if  these crabs are found near pubic hair

As crayfish are able to mate several times a year it is not surprising that their numbers in Berlin have been increasing rapidly. The last couple of mild winters will have prolonged the time available for passionate pursuits – clearly re-enforcing Berlin’s reputation as a sexually adventurous city. Despite Angela Merkel’s open door policy welcoming migrants I understand the Berlin authorities are starting to worry about this foreign invasion. These crustaceans have a very diverse appetite and it will not be long before local fish stocks (and lots of other sensitive local delicacies) become seriously diminished.

Interestingly I noticed am article in the International Journal of Biological Science  reporting that Procambarus clarkii, our promiscuous crayfish, can actually reproduce without having to even bother with sex (Yue et. al. Discovery of four natural clones in a crayfish species Procambarus clarkii. Int J Biol Sci 2008; 4(5):279-282). The research team identified a number of natural genetic clones of the crayfish – indicating that these offspring were produced by a mother that hadn’t had to endure sex (Presumably when you have ten legs – performing sexual acts can be a bit of a challenge!). For any ‘scientists’ who are interest you can find the original crayfish sex article using the link here.

Dish of boiled crawfish

By the way – the picture above is not the result of feral crayfish having a wild night of sexual fun in Berlin. It illustrates one of the ways that our friends in the US keep their crayfish numbers under control – they eat them.  Just in case anybody in Berlin sees this and thinks the local infestation presents an interesting opportunity for a tasty crawfish supper – be warned. Under my assessment of German law (OK, admittedly I am not a lawyer) catching these little creatures is considered to be ‘fishing’. If you do not have the appropriate fishing licence from the authorities any attempt to catch the crustaceans can be punishable with a hefty fine and up to two years imprisonment. Is it really worth it?

Who knows? If you do go get incarcerated in a Berlin prison you might be lucky enough to enjoy an intimate relationship with that other kind of crab! (so don’t forget your plasma nit comb).

A pretty human louse

That reminds me of my old girlfriend who also had a problem in relation to crabs:

Happy scratching!

Chris Duggleby.

If you found this article interesting please consider taking a look at some of my other recent reports on similar subjects.

Just click on the titles below:

…starting with some fun related articles:

8th Mar 2017: Nano Chip Cock Ring Detects STIs – Size, Thrust, and Speed – From Penis via Smartphone to Facebook

28th Feb 2017: Vaccinations Cause Children to Masturbate – Public Frustration At Austrian Article:

16th Oct 2016: How to Prevent Smelly Trumps – Scientific Breakthrough in Australia – Good Carbs Mean Good Farts 

9th March 2016: Penis Ring Emergency – German Fire Fighters Rescue Man From Painful 13 Cock Ring Torture: Vorsprung durch Technik and erectile dysfunction

21st June 2015: Bio-undies: Guilt free Passion with ‘Easy Emma’ and ‘Loose Harry’and Getting Rid of Garden Snails with Rent-a-Duck

4th March 2015: Hamburg Reeperbahn (St. Pauli): Germans install walls that urinate on passers-by

17th April 2014: Niche On-line Dating Services (Specialities: Herpes, Thrush and Genital Warts)

18th August 2012: How Bavarians and Austrians use their middle finger – Fingerhakeln: a men-only sport (did Arnold Schwarzenegger start training this way?).

You can also find some of my more humorous reports in the Alpine Press section of this site using the link here.

some here is some more serious stuff:

12th June 2016 Hospital Serial Killer – Super Bugs Created With Jumping Genes During Bacterial Sex

21st May 2016 Skin Cancer and Cataracts From Your Car – Poor UV Side Protection – Windows Tested From 15 Vehicle Makers

19th April 2016 Torture In The Shower – Face and Body Soap Allergies – Main Suspect: Pears Transparent Soap

3rd March 2016 Using Gene Drives To Change Mosquito Sex In Fight Against Zika, Dengue and Malaria

3rd Feb 2016 Zika Infection Spread By Sex In Dallas – Earlier Sexual Transmission In Colorado – Detailed Symptoms 

31st Jan 2016  Bed Bugs – Insecticide Resistance – Arbovirus Transmission – Zika and Microcephy

13th Jan 2016 Kill Head Lice In A Day With The Newly Developed Plasma Nitcomb From The German Fraunhofer Institute

26th July 2015 Poison in your Washing Machine: Allergic Contact Dermatitis from Laundry Detergents, Softeners, Conditioners and Whiteners

29th December 2012: Spreading diarrhea and vomit through the washing machine– The Norovirus propagator in our kitchen

…please visit chrisduggleby.com again.

 

 

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Ladies Shop Till You Drop – Leave Your Man in a Husband Parking Pod – The Capsule Hotel Idea for Bored Shoppers

Ladies Shop Till You Drop – Leave Your Man in a Husband Parking Pod – The Capsule Hotel Idea for Bored Shoppers. If you get pissed off with the man in your life always complaining that shopping takes too long here’s a new innovation that will keep you both happy – the Husband Parking Facility – Coming to a shopping centre near you. Read on…

Pod Hotel Floor Ladies shop Till You Drop Husband Parking Pod Article at ChrisDugglebydotcom

The next generation of  Husband Parking Facilities? A ‘Floor’ of rooms at a typical capsule hotel

While you read on why not listen to my album ‘Electro Baroque‘ (all tracks are also available on iTunes using the link here)? Classical music using modern instruments:

or if you prefer to listen to my electronic music album ‘Studio Valiumm‘ here are the videos (also on iTunes using the link here):

More info about my music is at the dedicated website www.TRANSFORMATES.com

When I lived in Tokyo in the 1980’s I had to pop down to Osaka regularly on the bullet train to meet my customers there. In those days my fellow Salary-men spoke excitedly about the new Capsule Hotel that opened in Osaka in 1979 – this facility allowed gentlemen to sleep in comfortable little pods for a fraction of the price of a Japanese hotel.

Pod Hotel Door Ladies shop Till You Drop Husband Parking Pod Article at ChrisDugglebydotcom

View inside a typical capsule hotel ‘room’

Now scroll forward nearly 4 decades and our Asian friends have come up with another innovation to help ease the life of those tired husbands. This new development has already been introduced to a couple of shopping centres in Shanghai including the prestigious Global Harbour Mall in the Putuo district. It has been described locally as a husband parking bay (although I like to think of it as a ‘Hubby Play-pod‘).

The cabins have been developed by the company Ingrem Technology. Their manager, Mr Wei Pengfei, explained that market research had shown that although most people go shopping in ‘pairs’ usually the men are the first to become bored with the experience. When this happens their wife (or girlfriend) can drop them off at the Hubby Play-pod (at the time of writing their are four of these facilities in the Global Harbour Shopping Mall).

Man at Play Ladies shop Till You Drop Husband Parking Pod Article at ChrisDugglebydotcom

A client being gainfully occupied in a Hubby-parking pod in a Shanghai shopping mall

Inside the pod is a comfortable sports seat which also provides a personal massage facility. The parked ‘guest’ can make use of the computer games on offer within the play-pod. Currently the facilities are free but the demand has been very strong with some gentlemen being left there for several hours by their partners. The plan is to start charging for the service in the near future.

Mr Wei Pengfei explained that interest is growing rapidly with enquiries from a further ten clients under consideration. The plan is to equip the next generation of Hubby-pods with air conditioning (it gets very warm in Shanghai in the summer months). Charges will be introduced based on the amount of time a guest spends inside the pod.

Ingrem Mgr Wei Pengfei Ladies shop Till You Drop Husband Parking Pod Article at ChrisDugglebydotcom

Ingrem Technology (Hubby-pod supplier) Manager – Mr. Wei Pengfei

And how is the feedback about the Hubby-pod experience? Mr Wei explained that generally the men have found the experience very enjoyable – their appetite for going shopping with their partners appears to have increased. However the ladies responses were more mixed. Li Ting, a 35 year old stay-at-home mother from Shanghai, told the China News (CNS):  “I think it’s a creative way for my husband to take a break from shopping, which men are often not interested in. It’s totally fine if he plays games there for half an hour while I’m trying on dresses and I don’t need his opinions.”

By contrast Ding Wen, a 29 year old primary school teacher, considered it unacceptable to see her husband sitting there playing computer games if he chose to go out with her for a date:  “Whether it was a decade ago when we started a love relationship or it’s now when we already have a three-year-old son, I always believe we should take the quality time we spend together seriously,”

Asian Gentlemen can sometimes find shopping very tiring – a typical  ‘after shopping’ scene in the subway.

Mr Wei explained that although most ladies support his development some women like to try on and show their husbands or boyfriends the clothes they are interested in. It should be noted however that the pods do have glass walls so theoretically the man could look at his wife from inside of the pod. Some other ladies were unhappy because they had finished with their shopping but then struggled to get their man out of the pod  – apparently he was having such a good time.

By the way if you do go to Osaka in Japan and want to check out the original pod hotel there the English language website to the Capsule Inn Hotel Osaka is here (This is not a recommendation or endorsement – just for info as a piece of Japanese cultural history). Clearly this could be the next development in the evolution of the Hubby shopping pod – don’t just go shopping with him for a couple of hours – put him in a pod hotel and spend the whole weekend shopping (but make sure you keep the credit cards ladies!).

Pod Hotel Decor Ladies shop Till You Drop Husband Parking Pod Article at ChrisDugglebydotcom

Long Term Hubby Parking option for a Weekend out shopping with the girls?

Enjoy the Weekend!

Chris Duggleby.

If you found this article interesting please consider taking a look at some of my other recent reports on similar subjects.

Just click on the titles below:

…starting with some fun related articles:

8th Mar 2017: Nano Chip Cock Ring Detects STIs – Size, Thrust, and Speed – From Penis via Smartphone to Facebook

28th Feb 2017: Vaccinations Cause Children to Masturbate – Public Frustration At Austrian Article:

16th Oct 2016: How to Prevent Smelly Trumps – Scientific Breakthrough in Australia – Good Carbs Mean Good Farts 

9th March 2016: Penis Ring Emergency – German Fire Fighters Rescue Man From Painful 13 Cock Ring Torture: Vorsprung durch Technik and erectile dysfunction

21st June 2015: Bio-undies: Guilt free Passion with ‘Easy Emma’ and ‘Loose Harry’and Getting Rid of Garden Snails with Rent-a-Duck

4th March 2015: Hamburg Reeperbahn (St. Pauli): Germans install walls that urinate on passers-by

17th April 2014: Niche On-line Dating Services (Specialities: Herpes, Thrush and Genital Warts)

18th August 2012: How Bavarians and Austrians use their middle finger – Fingerhakeln: a men-only sport (did Arnold Schwarzenegger start training this way?).

You can also find some of my more humorous reports in the Alpine Press section of this site using the link here.

some here is some more serious stuff:

12th June 2016 Hospital Serial Killer – Super Bugs Created With Jumping Genes During Bacterial Sex

21st May 2016 Skin Cancer and Cataracts From Your Car – Poor UV Side Protection – Windows Tested From 15 Vehicle Makers

19th April 2016 Torture In The Shower – Face and Body Soap Allergies – Main Suspect: Pears Transparent Soap

3rd March 2016 Using Gene Drives To Change Mosquito Sex In Fight Against Zika, Dengue and Malaria

3rd Feb 2016 Zika Infection Spread By Sex In Dallas – Earlier Sexual Transmission In Colorado – Detailed Symptoms 

31st Jan 2016  Bed Bugs – Insecticide Resistance – Arbovirus Transmission – Zika and Microcephy

13th Jan 2016 Kill Head Lice In A Day With The Newly Developed Plasma Nitcomb From The German Fraunhofer Institute

26th July 2015 Poison in your Washing Machine: Allergic Contact Dermatitis from Laundry Detergents, Softeners, Conditioners and Whiteners

29th December 2012: Spreading diarrhea and vomit through the washing machine– The Norovirus propagator in our kitchen

…please visit chrisduggleby.com again.

 

 

 

 

 

Stabbing Pain in Chest – Doctor Finds Dental Brace in Gut – After 10 years in Bowel – Orthodontic Abdominal Piercing

Stabbing Pain in Chest – Doctor Finds Dental Brace in Gut – After 10 years in Bowel – Orthodontic Abdominal Piercing. A women in Australia could not remember having swallowed anything unusual but acute pains in her lower abdomen revealed the horrific consequences of an unknown ingestion over 10 years earlier (Report contains explicit medical photographs).

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Orthodontic Brace Like this one caused Multiple Piercing of Small Intestine

This week BMJ Case Reports (BMJ – formerly the British Medical Journal) published a report in which Dr Talia Shepherd described an unusual discovery in a female patient with severe abdominal pain.

While you read on why not listen to my album ‘Electro Baroque‘ (all tracks are also available on iTunes using the link here)? Classical music using modern instruments:

or if you prefer to listen to my electronic music album ‘Studio Valiumm‘ here are the videos (also on iTunes using the link here):

More info about my music is at the dedicated website www.TRANSFORMATES.com

Initially when the patient visited the hospital her medical adviser thought the problem was related to her gall bladder. They were able to alleviate the pain and send the woman home. She returned to the hospital two days later in absolute agony. The pain was so extreme that the doctor decided to give her a CT scan. This uncovered a long thin object which appeared to be embedded in her small intestine (see photo of CT scan).

Orthodontic Abdominal Piercing Courtesy Dr Talia Shepherd see Article at ChrisDugglebydotcom

CT Scan of Patient with extreme abdominal pains – note the long white object in the centre  (courtesy of Dr Talia Shepherd – BMJ Case Reports)

Initially the physician thought this might be a fish bone – it had pierced the small bowel in several places causing the intestine to turn in on itself and prevented its normal movement – a condition known as Volvulus. If left untreated this can restrict blood flow to the area, eventually leading to the death and decay of this vital organ. A decision was made to open up the patient immediately to determine the exact cause of the damage and hopefully identify an appropriate course of action. The photo below shows what the medical team found when they opened up the woman’s abdomen (Medical photos: kind acknowledgements to BMJ Case Studies and Dr Talia Shepherd).

Orthodontic Abdominal Piercing 2 Courtesy Dr Talia Shepherd see Article at ChrisDugglebydotcom

7 cm piece of wire from an orthodontic brace piercing the small intestine in several places and leading to Volvulus – click to enlarge these photos (courtesy of Dr Talia Shepherd – BMJ Case Reports)

The piercing of the small intestine and the origin of the Volvulus was not a fish bone but a 7 cm piece of wire from an orthodontic brace.

What was particularly unusual about this finding was that it was 10 years since this 30 year old Australian lady had last worn a brace. She could not recall ever ingesting or losing part of her brace. The doctor assumed that the piece of metal had been sitting in the woman’s intestine for at least 10 years. It had only caused considerable pain recently, presumably when it pierced the woman’s small bowel.

Non Orthodontic Abdominal Piercing of Gut see Article at ChrisDugglebydotcom

A slightly more conventional abdominal piercing (applied externally)

It is very unusual for a piece of orthodontic brace to be swallowed and lead to serious problems in the gut. A few years ago doctors on Basel (Switzerland) identified what looked like a frog on the X-ray of a seven year old child’s throat. It turned out to be a frog shaped pendant that the child had swallowed and was removed by endoscopy under anaesthetic (see below for link to this and related X-ray pics).

Coins are among the most common metal objects swallowed by children although the slide show provided via the link below includes a number of less common articles found in the gut including (as well as the frog) a fork, a ring, and a spring. Tongue piercings pose a significant risk of accidental swallowing. One particularly dangerous group of items frequently swallowed by young children are small ‘button’ shaped batteries. These can leak dangerous chemicals into the gut and can also cause damage (‘burning’) due to their ability to generate an electric current. The link to the X-ray slide show with some of these unusual items found in the gut can be found here. (The slide show has been put together by the Sueddeutschezeitung, a national German newspaper)

 

Orthodontic Brace Abdominal Piercing of Gut 2 see Article at ChrisDugglebydotcom

This is the more usual condition of a brace after removal from a patient.

If you do swallow something that gives you cause for concern (or someone you knows does – like a child) seek medical advice as quickly as possible. Enjoy your lunch (but swallow carefully)!

Chris Duggleby.

If you found this article interesting please consider taking a look at some of my other recent reports on similar subjects.

Just click on the titles below:

…starting with some fun related articles:

8th Mar 2017: Nano Chip Cock Ring Detects STIs – Size, Thrust, and Speed – From Penis via Smartphone to Facebook

28th Feb 2017: Vaccinations Cause Children to Masturbate – Public Frustration At Austrian Article:

16th Oct 2016: How to Prevent Smelly Trumps – Scientific Breakthrough in Australia – Good Carbs Mean Good Farts 

9th March 2016: Penis Ring Emergency – German Fire Fighters Rescue Man From Painful 13 Cock Ring Torture: Vorsprung durch Technik and erectile dysfunction

21st June 2015: Bio-undies: Guilt free Passion with ‘Easy Emma’ and ‘Loose Harry’and Getting Rid of Garden Snails with Rent-a-Duck

4th March 2015: Hamburg Reeperbahn (St. Pauli): Germans install walls that urinate on passers-by

17th April 2014: Niche On-line Dating Services (Specialities: Herpes, Thrush and Genital Warts)

18th August 2012: How Bavarians and Austrians use their middle finger – Fingerhakeln: a men-only sport (did Arnold Schwarzenegger start training this way?).

You can also find some of my more humorous reports in the Alpine Press section of this site using the link here.

some here is some more serious stuff:

12th June 2016 Hospital Serial Killer – Super Bugs Created With Jumping Genes During Bacterial Sex

21st May 2016 Skin Cancer and Cataracts From Your Car – Poor UV Side Protection – Windows Tested From 15 Vehicle Makers

19th April 2016 Torture In The Shower – Face and Body Soap Allergies – Main Suspect: Pears Transparent Soap

3rd March 2016 Using Gene Drives To Change Mosquito Sex In Fight Against Zika, Dengue and Malaria

3rd Feb 2016 Zika Infection Spread By Sex In Dallas – Earlier Sexual Transmission In Colorado – Detailed Symptoms 

31st Jan 2016  Bed Bugs – Insecticide Resistance – Arbovirus Transmission – Zika and Microcephy

13th Jan 2016 Kill Head Lice In A Day With The Newly Developed Plasma Nitcomb From The German Fraunhofer Institute

26th July 2015 Poison in your Washing Machine: Allergic Contact Dermatitis from Laundry Detergents, Softeners, Conditioners and Whiteners

29th December 2012: Spreading diarrhea and vomit through the washing machine– The Norovirus propagator in our kitchen

…please visit chrisduggleby.com again.

Legal Battle of Pensioner Who Massaged Bottom Over Public Hot Tub Jet at Baths

Legal Battle of Pensioner Who Massaged His Bottom Over Public Hot Tub Jet at Baths. A 79 Year old retired engineer found himself explaining how frequently he had erections to a lady prosecutor in a German court following an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction incident over a hot tub water jet at the local baths. More below…

German FKK fun see Legal Battle of Pensioner Who Massaged Bottom Over Public Hot Tub Jet at Baths from ChrisDugglebydotcom

Traditional German Free Body Culture (FKK) fun

While you read why not listen to my album ‘Electro Baroque‘ (all tracks are also available on iTunes using the link here)? Classical music using modern instruments:

or if you prefer to listen to my electronic music album ‘Studio Valiumm‘ here are the videos (also on iTunes using the link here):

More info about my music is at the dedicated website www.TRANSFORMATES.com

Just to set the record straight – this story is not autobiographical! Generally speaking we Brits tend to be a bit old fashioned when we go to the swimming baths. We don’t encourage some of the ‘clothing optional‘ bathing habits of our European neighbours – especially in our public baths – like the one in the photo below. The Germans on the other hand invented FKK or Freikörperkultur – which roughly translated means Free Body Culture (or for those readers in the North of England ‘getting your togs off in public’).

Traditional English Bath see Legal Battle of Pensioner Who Massaged Bottom Over Public Hot Tub Jet at Baths from ChrisDugglebydotcom

This is what most English people think of when we talk about a trip to the baths

Considering how liberal our German friends are I was rather surprised to come across an article in their National Press this morning that illustrated a somewhat more ‘sensitive‘ picture. The Süddeutschezeitung (somewhere between the ‘Times’ and the ‘Guardian’ in its standing as a respectable newspaper) reported in graphic detail how a pensioner had to appear in court under a charge that his swimming trunks had slipped down at the local baths. Goodness knows how they would deal with the visible anal cleavage displayed by many English construction workers.

German Sauna fun see Legal Battle of Pensioner Who Massaged Bottom Over Public Hot Tub Jet at Baths from ChrisDugglebydotcom

A Fairly typical day out with the boys at a German Sauna

The incident appeared in the Phoenix Bad (“Bath”) in Ottobrunn, part of the delightful state of Bavaria. Among its many attractions these facilities boast a sauna (special ‘men only’ on Monday mornings) and spa (link to the Phoenix Bad site). Upon further investigation I discovered that the gentleman, Mr Karl K…, suffered the misfortune that his trunks unexpectedly slipped down while standing in the pool next to a “massage jet”. Herr K…. suffered with his sciatic nerve and found that his regular visits to the pool with its massage jets helped to ease his pain – he is 89 years of age (see photo in this Link to TZ Newspaper Article ‘Pensioner accused of being exhibitionist’)

Skeleton_whole_body_ant_lat_views

Sciatic Nerve – note close proximity to swimming trunk region

Herr K…. was called before the court because a 60 year old fellow swimmer believed she had seen something ‘unsightly‘ in the bubbling water in front of the man. The lady made this observation while doing a handstand in the water wearing her swimming goggles (from the original court text: “Wobei eine Dame, die gerade einen Unterwasserhandstand absolvierte, durch ihre Schwimmbrille ‘was rumschwimmen’ hat sehen“). The lady further explained that the man had a very enjoyable relaxed expression on his face (“Dabei hatte er so einen entspannten Gesichtsausdruck“).

Saunassa

It is not always appropriate to expose your bottom when bathing in public

In the TZ article Mr K…. explained that he had been married three times and was now a widow. He did not have a criminal record and had worked all his life as an engineer. He had been a regular visitor to the pool for 27 years and kept fit by swimming a couple of lengths followed by a ‘session’ with the massage jets. Perhaps this had ‘dislodged’ his trunks? He would then relax by lying on one of the beds. This helped him with his sciatic pain. It was during such a process that a lady observed him exposing himself and raised a charge against him. She later withdrew the charge upon discovering his age but the German prosecutor decided it was in the best interest of the public to continue with the case.

As a result the pensioner, supported by his walking stick and lawyer, had to appear before the local court.  He was accused of taking down his swimming trunks and ‘playing around’ (“an sich herumgespielt“). He explained that perhaps the water jets caused his trunks to slip down but you would really have to look closely to see anything because of the bubbling water.

German Spa fun see Legal Battle of Pensioner Who Massaged Bottom Over Public Hot Tub Jet at Baths from ChrisDugglebydotcom

A more traditional German Spa (this one is in Aachen)

His defence lawyer, Mr Wilfried Sydow, then decided to get straight to the point and asked him whether he was still capable of getting an erection? (apparently the witness claimed to have seen this before withdrawing her charge). He explained that he could not – the last time he had experienced such a development was 5 or 6 years ago.  The prosecutor pronounced that due to the ‘legal complexities’ involved she would stand the case down upon payment by the accused of €500 to a women’s charity organisation.

Mr K…. is permitted to resume his visits to the swimming baths but the prosecutor strongly advised him to keep his trunks on at all times in order to avoid any further ‘misunderstandings’.

Once again the ChrisDuggleby.com site cuts through the Fake News to bring to you matters of international importance as reported by the European national press. Many readers will be considering a holiday in Germany this year so please be warned not to take the liberal reputation of the locals for granted. Although some places will accept nude bathing it is important to understand that this is not generally the case – transgressions can lead to legal proceedings.

I, for one, intend to install some extra strong knicker elastic into my swimming trunks before my next trip to Bavaria!

If in doubt be modest!

Chris Duggleby

If you found this article interesting please consider taking a look at some of my other recent reports on similar subjects.

Just click on the titles below:

…starting with some fun related articles:

8th Mar 2017: Nano Chip Cock Ring Detects STIs – Size, Thrust, and Speed – From Penis via Smartphone to Facebook

28th Feb 2017: Vaccinations Cause Children to Masturbate – Public Frustration At Austrian Article:

16th Oct 2016: How to Prevent Smelly Trumps – Scientific Breakthrough in Australia – Good Carbs Mean Good Farts 

9th March 2016: Penis Ring Emergency – German Fire Fighters Rescue Man From Painful 13 Cock Ring Torture: Vorsprung durch Technik and erectile dysfunction

21st June 2015: Bio-undies: Guilt free Passion with ‘Easy Emma’ and ‘Loose Harry’and Getting Rid of Garden Snails with Rent-a-Duck

4th March 2015: Hamburg Reeperbahn (St. Pauli): Germans install walls that urinate on passers-by

17th April 2014: Niche On-line Dating Services (Specialities: Herpes, Thrush and Genital Warts)

18th August 2012: How Bavarians and Austrians use their middle finger – Fingerhakeln: a men-only sport (did Arnold Schwarzenegger start training this way?).

You can also find some of my more humorous reports in the Alpine Press section of this site using the link here.

some here is some more serious stuff:

12th June 2016 Hospital Serial Killer – Super Bugs Created With Jumping Genes During Bacterial Sex

21st May 2016 Skin Cancer and Cataracts From Your Car – Poor UV Side Protection – Windows Tested From 15 Vehicle Makers

19th April 2016 Torture In The Shower – Face and Body Soap Allergies – Main Suspect: Pears Transparent Soap

3rd March 2016 Using Gene Drives To Change Mosquito Sex In Fight Against Zika, Dengue and Malaria

3rd Feb 2016 Zika Infection Spread By Sex In Dallas – Earlier Sexual Transmission In Colorado – Detailed Symptoms 

31st Jan 2016  Bed Bugs – Insecticide Resistance – Arbovirus Transmission – Zika and Microcephy

13th Jan 2016 Kill Head Lice In A Day With The Newly Developed Plasma Nitcomb From The German Fraunhofer Institute

26th July 2015 Poison in your Washing Machine: Allergic Contact Dermatitis from Laundry Detergents, Softeners, Conditioners and Whiteners

29th December 2012: Spreading diarrhea and vomit through the washing machine– The Norovirus propagator in our kitchen

…please visit chrisduggleby.com again.

 

Kissing Sores – Mouth Ulcers after Brushing Teeth – Mum Stops Using Colgate – Blisters Disappear

Kissing Sores – Mouth Ulcers after Brushing Teeth – Mum Stops Using Colgate – Blisters Disappear. If you suffer from recurrent mouth ulcers (canker sores) you may need to look more closely at the ingredients in your toothpaste – specifically Sodium Lauryl Sulphate is a cheap detergent many manufacturers add to make their toothpaste ‘froth’ in your mouth. More details below…. 

While you read why not listen to my album ‘Electro Baroque‘ (all tracks are also available on iTunes using the link here)? Classical music using modern instruments:

or if you prefer to listen to my electronic music album ‘Studio Valiumm‘ here are the videos (also on iTunes using the link here):

More info about my music is at the dedicated website www.TRANSFORMATES.com

As a child one of my best ‘close to hand’ sources of medical advice was Mum. I recently popped up to the North of England to celebrate my Mother’s birthday and over cake we got on to talking about health issues. She told me that she had recently stopped using her favourite toothpaste (Colgate) because she had read that it can cause mouth sores.

She had suffered from recurring mouth ulcers for many years and had never thought it might be related to the toothpaste she had used all her life. Then she discovered that an ingredient in Colgate toothpaste called Sodium Lauryl Sulphate (SLS) can lead to something called Recurrent Aphthous Ulcers also known as Canker Sores or Mouth Ulcers.

Mum – Happy now the ulcers have gone

My mother changed her toothpaste to one that was sodium lauryl sulphate free and she no longer suffers from recurring mouth ulcers.

As I have also been a life-long user of Colgate (recommended by Mum!) I decided to do some research and check out why manufacturers use sodium lauryl sulphate. I was rather disappointed to discover that this ingredient does not really contribute to the hygiene of my mouth – it is added as a kind of marketing gimmick. It actually causes the toothpaste to froth up in your mouth so you think it is helping to clean up the ‘nasties’. It is this ability to cause a froth which also makes it a popular ingredient in shampoos.

Where to find the ingredients…

So what is Sodium lauryl sulphate or SLS? It is a cheap anionic surfactant – which means it can help oily things to mix with water. In other words it is a detergent and a popular cheap ingredient in cosmetics (helps remove oil from your skin) and as a household cleansing agent (for greasy kitchen floors). This is the stuff that Colgate-Palmolive (and other makers of SLS containing toothpaste) recommend you put into your mouth at least twice a day.

As well as creating the frothy feel when you clean your teeth SLS can also strip away the natural protective lining of your mouth. Your body’s surface cells secrete oily substances to protect the mouth and other surfaces from bacteria – these oily secretions contain natural chemicals which can attack harmful microbes. These protective substances are washed away by the detergent action of SLS (in the froth) – it also attacks the protective cells lining the surface of the mouth. This opens the door to bugs and ulcers.

Sodium lauryl sulphate (Sodium lauryl sulfate)

Like my mother I will now be looking to replace Colgate as my preferred toothpaste with an SLS-free alternative. Manufacturers have a number of tricks to hide unwanted chemicals when listing ingredients on their packaging. For example sodium lauryl sulphate (SLS) can also be described using a number of other names like those below:

  • A13-00356
  • Akyposal SDS
  • Aquarex Methyl
  • Dodecyl sodium sulphate
  • Lauryl sodium sulphate
  • Monododecyl ester
  • Monododecyl ester sodium salt sulphuric acid
  • Sodium dodecyl sulphate
  • Sodium laurylsulphate
  • Sulphuric acid monododecyl ester sodium salt

(note: in the US the ‘ph’ in sulpher/sulphate/sulphuric is replaced with an ‘f’)

As a postscript I should also mention that there are other causes of sores in a person’s mouth. For example, it is possible to contract Herpes virus sores by oral sex (and other close contact with a carrier’s bodily fluids). However it is quite possible that brushing with an SLS containing toothpaste may reduce you mouth’s natural protective barriers to such infectious agents. Therefore I recommend you check with your medical adviser whether it is appropriate to use an SLS containing toothpaste prior to oral sex.

The detergent SLS in toothpaste can increase susceptibility to infection by oral pathogens

Health tip of the week: The froth in your mouth is not necessarily good for oral hygiene.

Safe brushing!

Chris Duggleby 

The Author is not professionally qualified to give medical advice – if you have any concerns about sores, toothpaste or oral sex please consult your dentist or doctor.

Author – on the way to the supermarket to find a SLS free toothpaste

You can read more about SLS and mouth ulcers from the US National Library of Medicine/National Institutes of Health using the articles here and here.

For any readers contemplating exchanging bodily fluids with an astronaut here is a public health video you should watch first…

If you found this article interesting please consider taking a look at some of my other recent reports on similar subjects.

Just click on the titles below:

…starting with some fun related articles:

8th Mar 2017: Nano Chip Cock Ring Detects STIs – Size, Thrust, and Speed – From Penis via Smartphone to Facebook

28th Feb 2017: Vaccinations Cause Children to Masturbate – Public Frustration At Austrian Article:

16th Oct 2016: How to Prevent Smelly Trumps – Scientific Breakthrough in Australia – Good Carbs Mean Good Farts 

9th March 2016: Penis Ring Emergency – German Fire Fighters Rescue Man From Painful 13 Cock Ring Torture: Vorsprung durch Technik and erectile dysfunction

21st June 2015: Bio-undies: Guilt free Passion with ‘Easy Emma’ and ‘Loose Harry’and Getting Rid of Garden Snails with Rent-a-Duck

4th March 2015: Hamburg Reeperbahn (St. Pauli): Germans install walls that urinate on passers-by

17th April 2014: Niche On-line Dating Services (Specialities: Herpes, Thrush and Genital Warts)

18th August 2012: How Bavarians and Austrians use their middle finger – Fingerhakeln: a men-only sport (did Arnold Schwarzenegger start training this way?).

You can also find some of my more humorous reports in the Alpine Press section of this site using the link here.

some here is some more serious stuff:

12th June 2016 Hospital Serial Killer – Super Bugs Created With Jumping Genes During Bacterial Sex

21st May 2016 Skin Cancer and Cataracts From Your Car – Poor UV Side Protection – Windows Tested From 15 Vehicle Makers

19th April 2016 Torture In The Shower – Face and Body Soap Allergies – Main Suspect: Pears Transparent Soap

3rd March 2016 Using Gene Drives To Change Mosquito Sex In Fight Against Zika, Dengue and Malaria

3rd Feb 2016 Zika Infection Spread By Sex In Dallas – Earlier Sexual Transmission In Colorado – Detailed Symptoms 

31st Jan 2016  Bed Bugs – Insecticide Resistance – Arbovirus Transmission – Zika and Microcephy

13th Jan 2016 Kill Head Lice In A Day With The Newly Developed Plasma Nitcomb From The German Fraunhofer Institute

26th July 2015 Poison in your Washing Machine: Allergic Contact Dermatitis from Laundry Detergents, Softeners, Conditioners and Whiteners

29th December 2012: Spreading diarrhea and vomit through the washing machine– The Norovirus propagator in our kitchen

…please visit chrisduggleby.com again.

Sensational Images of Blazing Cape Town Mountain – Hout Bay Fires moving towards Llandudno Engulf Sandy Bay

Sensational Images of Blazing Cape Town Mountain – Hout Bay Fires moving towards Llandudno Engulf Sandy Bay: It is not everyday that you find yourself living next to a mountain that is on fire. This happened to me yesterday in Cape Town and this report explains what happened using high definition photography to capture some stunning views as the events unfolded. Links to my other similar photographic blogs are also included.

0 Hout Bay Burns See Photo Blog Article Sensational Images of Blazing Cape Town Mountain at ChrisDugglebydotcom DSCF3753 (2)

Hout Bay Inferno on its way to the Sandy Bay Beach area

While you read why not listen to my album ‘Electro Baroque‘ (all tracks are also available on iTunes using the link here)? Classical music using modern instruments:

or if you prefer to listen to my electronic music album ‘Studio Valiumm‘ here are the videos (also on iTunes using the link here):

More info about my music is at the dedicated website www.TRANSFORMATES.com

I had hoped my earlier report about the heroic exploits of the Cape Town fire-fighting crews battling against flames around Hout Bay would be my last on that subject (see my detailed report with pics here).  Sadly I was proven wrong when explosions in the informal settlement at Imizamo Yethu in Hout Bay (known as Mandela Park) started fires that destroyed an estimated 1000 homes. Figures vary but this disaster is believed to have made around 4000 people homeless.

Between Hout Bay and my roof-top apartment in Llandudno is a rather large mountain – the Karbonkelberg. Very dry vegetation caused by the current drought conditions helped the Hout Bay fires in my previous report to reach my side (the Llandundo side) of the mountain. Fortunately when this happened over a week ago helicopter-borne fire-fighting crews quickly brought the bush fires under control. They were helped by very calm weather conditions followed by some much needed rain a couple of days later.

These fortunate climatic conditions were not in evidence at the time of the explosions this Saturday (11th March 2017). The wind helped the flames to spread rapidly and it was difficult to use helicopters because of both the wind and the risk of injuring people – including firefighters on the ground. The wind was predicted to get even stronger during the day and although the fires were brought under control the bush ignited again towards the evening.

5 Red African Full Moon See Photo Blog Article Sensational Images of Blazing Cape Town Mountain at ChrisDugglebydotcom DSCF3673 (5)

My suspicions arose just before dawn on Sunday 12th March as I tried to take Moon-set photos of the full moon over Sunset Rocks (Llandudno). The moon was a deep red colour and this is often an indication of pollution – particularly that caused by large bush fires. As the moon set and the sun rose I could see smoke billowing over the Karbonkelberg mountain from the direction of Hout Bay. The wind was predicted to reach 100 km an hour (which you really feel on the Cape coast) and the large, well known, Cape Town Cycle Tour (formerly known as Cape Argus) had to be called off.

6 Hout Bay Inferno at Sandy Bay See Photo Blog Article Sensational Images of Blazing Cape Town Mountain at ChrisDugglebydotcom DSCF3751 (2)

The winds made it impossible for the chopper crews to perform their dousing magic on the mountain bush fires and it was only a matter of time before flames started to engulf the Sandy Bay/Llandudno side of the Karbonkelberg. They continued to spread round the mountain towards the Sandy Bay beach area as the day progressed (see pictures – click on them for high definition views).

7 Hout Bay Major Fire Approaches Llandudno See Photo Blog Article Sensational Images of Blazing Cape Town Mountain at ChrisDugglebydotcom DSCF3746 (2)

By nightfall the whole of this side of the mountain was engulfed in flames. Ours is one of the first Llandudno properties bordering the Table Mountain National Park where Karbonkelberg is situated. We needed to start preparing ourselves for a potential evacuation. If you have never seen a mountain on fire at night time the pictures here will illustrate how it can be both awe-inspiring and at the same time very frightening – especially if you live next door to it.

8 Night Time Hout Bay Fire See Photo Blog Article Sensational Images of Blazing Cape Town Mountain at ChrisDugglebydotcom DSCF3791 (3)

In the evening the authorities had placed road blocks at Fishermans Hook – the only road leading to our part of Llandudno (the ‘Sunset Rocks’ area). This was to prevent ‘sightseers’ from blocking the roads in case they were needed for emergency services or residents evacuating in a hurry. Fortunately we didn’t need to evacuate.

9 Night View as Bush Fire Comes to Llandudno See Photo Blog Article Sensational Images of Blazing Cape Town Mountain at ChrisDugglebydotcom DSCF3802 (2)

The pictures presented above were taken at 9:30 pm. I continued to monitor the flames throughout the night (my regular ‘comfort’ trips during the night provided me with useful ‘mountain viewing’ opportunities). As the night progressed the flames subsided and the spreading appeared to be limited by a fortuitous ‘natural firebreak‘. This was due to a long stretch of sand dunes that reaches from Sandy Bay beach all the way to the town of Hout Bay.

In the past bush fires with larger flames have managed to cross-over this gap but the vegetation has changed in recent years making this less likely. Earlier fires had cleared the area of much larger ‘Alien’ plants and replaced them with the smaller indigenous Fynbos shrubs that are endemic to this part of the Cape.

9a Fynbos Vegetation Endemic to Cape Town See Photo Blog Article Sensational Images of Blazing Cape Town Mountain at ChrisDugglebydotcom

Fynbos Shrubs – Endemic to the region around Cape Town

10 African Full Moon Sets after Huge Fires See Photo Blog Article Sensational Images of Blazing Cape Town Mountain at ChrisDugglebydotcom DSCF3924 (2)

By the time the sun was just about to rise on Monday 13th March (today) I was up again trying to catch the full moon setting over the rocks in front of my apartment.

11 African Full Moon 13 March 2017 See Photo Blog Article Sensational Images of Blazing Cape Town Mountain at ChrisDugglebydotcom DSCF3930 (4)

Today there was not the red colouration I had witnessed the previous morning – as the sun rose I could see the mountain had stopped burning apart from an occasional ‘pre-breakfast’ smoke. The pictures here illustrate how the fire has caused most of the green vegetation to be replaced by grey, charred remains. I understand however that these shrubs are very hardy and their evolution has been closely intertwined with bush fires – the indigenous vegetation of the area should regenerate before too long.

18 Green Karbunkelberg Before Massive Fire See Photo Blog Article Sensational Images of Blazing Cape Town Mountain at ChrisDugglebydotcom DSCF0013 (2)

I took this photo before the recent bush fires – Note the strong green vegetation

Fortunately on this side of the mountain no homes were destroyed – sadly this was not the case for about 1000 shacks on Hout Bay side. However I understand the authorities, acknowledging that this is a disaster area, will provide funding to ensure more secure accommodation can replace the shacks. The challenge is on for the authorities to help regenerate the homes long before nature regenerates the vegetation.

Thanks for visiting ChrisDuggleby.com.

Chris Duggleby

z Full Moon sets over Sunset Rocks Llandudno See Photo Blog Article Sensational Images of Blazing Cape Town Mountain at ChrisDugglebydotcom DSCF3928 (4)

Taken at about 06:30 on Monday 13th March 2017

Here are some other reports I have prepared on similar themes:

27th Feb 2017: Mountain Bush Fires in Cape Town as Firefighting Choppers Cool Karbonkelberg’s Flames

5th Mar 2017: Cape Town Whale Spotting Tips – Secret Bait – Sandy Bay Beach Excitement as Big Willy Comes

28th Jan 2017: Release of Chris Duggleby’s new Album ‘Studio Valiumm’ and Scenic Prostitution of Cape Town

14th Jan 2016: Exploring Coastal Caves on the Western Cape of South Africa

27th Nov 2015: Whales Jumping to Bach, Moon Porn Exhibition and Obsessive Camera Disorder (OCD)

19th Mar 2015: Photos of Girls Diving From Sandy Bay Rocks – Cape Towns Nudist Beach – Local Boys Caught Playing Allegris Miserere

8th Mar 2015: Full Moon Pictures from Sunset Rocks near Cape Town – English and German Urine Developments – Hallelujah!

29th Mar 2013: Ship wrecks (and other old wrecks) on the rocks near Sandy Bay, Cape Town

17th Mar 2013: Sunset from the top of Table Mountain following an exciting canine adventure by Cable Car

17th Dec 2012: Looking for wild (and almost ferocious) animals near Chapmans Peak

14th Apr 2012: Searching for Cannibals in Woking, Surrey, England

12 Panoramic Full Moon View of Fire Zone See Photo Blog Article Sensational Images of Blazing Cape Town Mountain at ChrisDugglebydotcom DSCF3885 (2)

Cling Film Condom Gets Stuck – i.Con the Smart Wearable Sex Ring in Beta Testing

Cling Film Condom Gets Stuck – i.Con the Smart Wearable Sex Ring in Beta Testing: This week I would like to share with you how my over-enthusiasm for developing new applications for plastics additives almost caused a condom disaster in ‘Accident and Emergency‘. I also provide a quick update on the beta testing for the new nano-packed, downloadable smart condom i.Con and discuss how it could warn you about syphilis and chlamydia.

1 CDed Why I moved into Research see blog Cling Film Condom Gets Stuck- Icon the Smart Wearable Sex Ring in Beta testing at ChrisDugglebydotcom

In my early career I worked tirelessly with my technical team to perfect the perfect condom

While you read why not listen to my album ‘Electro Baroque‘ (all tracks are also available on iTunes using the link here)? Classical music using modern instruments:

or if you prefer to listen to my electro/techno album ‘Studio Valiumm‘ here are the videos (also on iTunes using the link here):

More info about my music is at the dedicated website www.TRANSFORMATES.com

As I am getting on a bit I think now is the time to come clean about some of the secrets from my early career in developing new chemical products. Last week I described my job in making mutants and their role in the UK’s erection of the year (more on that in the link here). Well, following my attempts to make mutants of the bacterium ‘Psodomy‘ I decided it was time for a career change and moved into additives for plastics and rubber.

3 Making Mutants see blog Cling Film Condom Gets Stuck- Icon the Smart Wearable Sex Ring in Beta testing at ChrisDugglebydotcom

Following my attempts at solving world hunger by making mutants I decided it was time to move on to new challenges

In my new role, working for the UK’s largest Oil company, I was responsible for sales and development of these products in the South of England. One of the products was a very viscous (= ‘like treacle’) product that was also quite tacky (= ‘sticky’) called Polybutene. These properties made it useful in things like sealants and adhesives (because of the stickiness) and high performance motor oils (as a viscosity index improver). It was also used in cling film (plastic- or cling-wrap) as the ingredient that made it ‘cling’.

2 Mutants to Lubes see blog Cling Film Condom Gets Stuck- Icon the Smart Wearable Sex Ring in Beta testing at ChrisDugglebydotcom

Although I had already earned some street cred with the blokes at the pub with my stories about helping to develop Formula 1 motor oils – clearly for the girls I needed something a bit more sensual. My sales region included the well known ‘London Rubber Company‘ whose major product ‘Durex‘ was famous among all my friends. I decided to see if I could use my Polybutenes’ skills to develop the perfect condom for this potential client.

Anyone who has had the good fortune to use a condom will appreciate that something you do not want it to do is fall off in the middle of use. I realised that my tacky additive could be just the product to help this rubber wearable item ‘stay on’. Clearly we had the technology – I already sold to one of the UK’s largest producers of cling film. One potential problem with our polybutene was that its viscosity (thickness) reduced when it was exposed to increased ‘shear‘ (e.g. rubbing against it). This was actually a desirable property in some products – like adhesives – it would help you to adjust the surfaces you were trying to stick before the joint was fixed.

4 Battle for Safe Sex Continues see blog Cling Film Condom Gets Stuck- Icon the Smart Wearable Sex Ring in Beta testing at ChrisDugglebydotcom

I decided to dedicate myself to safer sex

In a condom we didn’t want the stickiness to reduce as you increase the shear rate because this would make it easier for the sleeve to ‘come off’ during action. However we had a special ‘2000’ grade that was super thick and I was certain that if you put this into the condom material it would not slip off. Yes I was on the brink off producing the ‘condom that never falls off‘. Chris’s solution to the problem of global over population.

6 Old diseases make a comeback see blog Cling Film Condom Gets Stuck- Icon the Smart Wearable Sex Ring in Beta testing at ChrisDugglebydotcom

Field trials were a natural next stage. However we did run into a snag – as well as being very thick our 2000 grade was also the most tacky product in the range. Great if you are making glue or rodent traps! A condom containing this additive would certainly not come off during action – however, it had a slight drawback. After you have finished your period of ‘passion’ it was impossible to remove the condom from your appendage. My manager pointed out to me the potential brand damage to Durex of having lines of people at the hospital ‘Accident and Emergency‘ departments – all with condoms stuck on their Willies.

Shortly after this the oil company sent me to become their Sales Manager in Japan – a country where we did not have any existing customers. It was felt that my enthusiasm for innovative product development would be less damaging there (…remind me, one day, to explain how I nearly developed the chop-stick that will stick to rice – sadly it also stuck to diners’ lips).

i.Con the Smart Condom (Ring)7 Safe Sex is not new see blog Cling Film Condom Gets Stuck- Icon the Smart Wearable Sex Ring in Beta testing at ChrisDugglebydotcom

Recently, I was reminded of my early days in condom research, when I heard about another new UK sex innovation. The company ‘British Condoms’ has developed a smart wearable penis ring that you place over a condom. This nanochip based smart device measures loads of useful data to help you analyse your sexual performance. As part of a holistic exercise regime it could help to keep you fit and even lose weight (it measures calories expended in sex).

The product is currently undergoing beta testing to develop its systems for analysing and counting the type and number of positions you use. It should also be able to measure STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections) like Chlamydia and Syphilis although I am not sure quite how it will tell you about this (I suspect it will be too small for a loudspeaker…just imagine the scene – passions arise and a little voice shouts out: ‘Don’t touch her she’s got pox!‘).

Perhaps your STI information, like the other stats, can be downloaded straight to your smart phone to share on Facebook? Rather than duplicate my in-depth evaluation of this new smart product here why don’t you take a look at my detailed review of this exciting new product on the page using the link here).

8 Latest Developments in Safe Sex see blog Cling Film Condom Gets Stuck- Icon the Smart Wearable Sex Ring in Beta testing at ChrisDugglebydotcom

I wonder if they have ever considered developing a cock ring that is a bit more sticky and doesn’t slide off? Better polish off my C.V.!!! Sadly some gentlemen are so worried about rings slipping off that they actually use more than one on their penis (for my article about how the German fire brigade carries out training to practice removing such devices – in one case 13 on one Willy – use the link here).

So that is enough for today’s action packed ‘health-special’ edition of the blog. If you are interested in such exciting reports like this one you might like to subscribe to my blog – yes it is free!).

Chris Duggleby

9 CDed Equal Opps in Science see blog Cling Film Condom Gets Stuck- Icon the Smart Wearable Sex Ring in Beta testing at ChrisDugglebydotcom

Is that an alarm going off in your trouser pocket?

If you found this article interesting please consider taking a look at some of my other recent reports on similar subjects.

Just click on the titles below:

…starting with some fun related articles:

8th Mar 2017: Nano Chip Cock Ring Detects STIs – Size, Thrust, and Speed – From Penis via Smartphone to Facebook

28th Feb 2017: Vaccinations Cause Children to Masturbate – Public Frustration At Austrian Article:

16th Oct 2016: How to Prevent Smelly Trumps – Scientific Breakthrough in Australia – Good Carbs Mean Good Farts 

9th March 2016: Penis Ring Emergency – German Fire Fighters Rescue Man From Painful 13 Cock Ring Torture: Vorsprung durch Technik and erectile dysfunction

21st June 2015: Bio-undies: Guilt free Passion with ‘Easy Emma’ and ‘Loose Harry’and Getting Rid of Garden Snails with Rent-a-Duck

4th March 2015: Hamburg Reeperbahn (St. Pauli): Germans install walls that urinate on passers-by

17th April 2014: Niche On-line Dating Services (Specialities: Herpes, Thrush and Genital Warts)

18th August 2012: How Bavarians and Austrians use their middle fingerFingerhakeln: a men-only sport (did Arnold Schwarzenegger start training this way?).

You can also find some of my more humorous reports in the Alpine Press section of this site using the link here.

some here is some more serious stuff:

12th June 2016 Hospital Serial Killer – Super Bugs Created With Jumping Genes During Bacterial Sex

21st May 2016 Skin Cancer and Cataracts From Your Car – Poor UV Side Protection – Windows Tested From 15 Vehicle Makers

19th April 2016 Torture In The Shower – Face and Body Soap Allergies – Main Suspect: Pears Transparent Soap

3rd March 2016 Using Gene Drives To Change Mosquito Sex In Fight Against Zika, Dengue and Malaria

3rd Feb 2016 Zika Infection Spread By Sex In Dallas – Earlier Sexual Transmission In Colorado – Detailed Symptoms 

31st Jan 2016  Bed Bugs – Insecticide Resistance – Arbovirus Transmission – Zika and Microcephy

13th Jan 2016 Kill Head Lice In A Day With The Newly Developed Plasma Nitcomb From The German Fraunhofer Institute

26th July 2015 Poison in your Washing Machine: Allergic Contact Dermatitis from Laundry Detergents, Softeners, Conditioners and Whiteners

29th December 2012: Spreading diarrhea and vomit through the washing machine– The Norovirus propagator in our kitchen

…please visit chrisduggleby.com again.