Rats! Mouse in Bedroom Leads to Premature Death and Release of New Electro Baroque Album

Rats! Mouse in Bedroom Leads to Premature Death and Release of New Electro Baroque Album. “She may have been a bit of a dirty rat but she certainly knew how to move in bed“. This week’s article describes the loss of one of my most recent photographic models, Mandy, who sadly took her life following our relationship breakdown. My new Electro Baroque album has just been released and a track is dedicated to Mandy – or as my Mother used to call her ‘that African rodent’.

Mandy would lie in the dark staring at my naked body - I had to dedicate a special track on my Electro Baroque Album to her memory

Mandy would lie in the dark staring at my naked body – I have dedicated a special track on my Electro Baroque Album to her memory

Before I share with you the tragic news of Mandy’s demise let me first dispense with the obligatory commercial (I know it’s a bit tacky but I have to support my pension fund). Yesterday after long protracted negotiations we persuaded Apple to re-release my ‘best selling’ electronic baroque tracks.

Some readers will have been lucky enough to download my earlier album (Baroque Transformation) before it got pulled by iTunes. You can never be sure with record industry executives but we believe that there was an issue with my collaborators not having US Tax codes or PayPal accounts. This may have been due to the fact that Bach, Handel, Vivaldi etc. all died over 250 years ago.

George Frideric Handel 1685-1759 who inspired Chris Duggleby's interpretation of the Hallelujah Chorus from the Messiah

George Frideric Handel (1685-1759) flatly refused to get a US tax code or open a PayPal account to cover iTunes royalty payments

So all the tracks have now been renamed – they no longer mention the names of any dead composers (goodness knows what will happen when I snuff it!). These are now re-released under the album name ‘Electro Baroque‘ which can be downloaded from iTunes using the link here. On iTunes you can sample these tracks and if you find something you like they are all available to buy (I do not recommend waiting too long in case this one gets pulled too). For those interested in the other Albums I have produced as an artist (don’t laugh) the iTunes page is here.

If you would like to know which dead composers collaborated on the Electro Baroque album I have added a key with all the details on my dedicated music site (TRANSFORMATES.com) – just follow the link here. As I could not name any dead people on the new album I have taken the opportunity to create some new track names. On the assumption that sex sells some are a little bit sensuous…like this one:

This is actually based on ‘My Lord Willoughby’s Welcome Home a sixteenth century English ballad for which John Dowland (1563 – 1626) wrote a nice lute duet. It was his tune that was the basis for my interpretation. If you would like to compare my version with the original one here is Julian Bream playing with himself (well I did say it was a duet).

 

Having done the commercial I will now move on to this week’s tragic love story. To set the scene let me explain that on Wednesday night I was persuaded by my kind Llandudno neighbour to accompany her and three other beautiful ladies to the dunes in Hout Bay for some fun. A sensible friend, Ian, also accompanied us to help us maintain a modicom of respectability and to get us home safely.

Normally I don’t drink, but being a recluse I am very shy as far as ladies are concerned – on Wednesday I found that large quantities of Merlot helped to reduce my inhibitions. I an planning for my next musical project which will focus on love songs and here was a perfect opportunity to carry out a peer review and test some of my creative ideas. Anyway my memory is a little hazy about how the evening ended but the following morning I awoke to a fantastic red moon setting over the Ocean (no there wasn’t a wine bottle on the window sill). It was at this point that I noticed a creature of great beauty was nibbling at my ear lobe – clearly the night had ended well.

she-was-a-bit-of-a-rat-but-i-loved-her-electro-baroque-album-track-dedication-see-chrisdugglebydotcom-dscf2687-3Yes it would appear that during the night this exquisite creature, Mandy, had invited herself into my sleeping chamber – I suspect she was enticed by my irresistible Eau de Merlot. Well, eventually we put passion to one side and Mandy agreed to do some naked modelling for me on the balcony. The pics you see here are the results – she was a natural.

my-family-said-leave-her-she-is-just-a-rat-but-when-i-did-she-killed-herself-electro-baroque-album-track-dedication-see-chrisdugglebydotcom-dscf2719-2Sadly after a few hours of artistic fun I had to leave Mandy to take a flight from Cape Town to London. With two new albums to promote there were a lot of red carpet events that I needed to attend. At such short notice it was impossible to get a visa for Mandy – the UK authorities are becoming very strict on overseas visitors following the Brexit vote. Although she tried not to show it I realised later that our short night of passion had left a profound impression on my cuddly partner.

rodent-sex-leads-to-premature-death-and-electro-baroque-album-track-dedication-see-chrisdugglebydotcom-dscf2670-2

Shortly after my arrival in London I received news from the appropriate authorities in Aftrica that Mandy had been found dead on the road beneath my penthouse apartment in Llandudno (near Cape Town). It looked as if she had taken her own life by jumping from my balcony.

To honour Mandy’s short but wonderful life I am dedicating one of the tracks on the new album to her memory. Perhaps she has found a nice little spot in heaven and can enjoy listening to my music with the angels. The track is called Angels Weep When Child Dies – here is the video (and of course you can download it from here – any resemblance to Gregorio Allegri’s Miserere Mei Deus from ca 1630 and performed  in the Sistine Chapel of the Vatican is purely intentional):

So clearly this has been a pretty eventful week. If after all this emotional outpouring you can cope with more baroque inspired music here is the video play list with new videos for all the tracks on my Electro Baroque album:

As Sunday draws closer how about a nice picture of the Sistine Chapel where Allegri’s Miserere features at Easter time. In the past anyone trying to reproduce this music faced excommunication by the Pope – until a rather naughty boy called Mozart nicked it and published the score in London. As Wolfgang got away with it I am hoping that releasing ‘Angels Weep When Child Dies‘ will not reduce my chances of joining Mandy in Heaven.

Enjoy the Weekend,

Chris Duggleby.

170211-sistine-chapel-see-chrisdugglebydotcom

If you found this article interesting please consider taking a look at some of my other recent reports on similar subjects.

Just click on the titles below:

…starting with some fun related articles:

8th Mar 2017: Nano Chip Cock Ring Detects STIs – Size, Thrust, and Speed – From Penis via Smartphone to Facebook

28th Feb 2017: Vaccinations Cause Children to Masturbate – Public Frustration At Austrian Article:

16th Oct 2016: How to Prevent Smelly Trumps – Scientific Breakthrough in Australia – Good Carbs Mean Good Farts 

9th March 2016: Penis Ring Emergency – German Fire Fighters Rescue Man From Painful 13 Cock Ring Torture: Vorsprung durch Technik and erectile dysfunction

21st June 2015: Bio-undies: Guilt free Passion with ‘Easy Emma’ and ‘Loose Harry’and Getting Rid of Garden Snails with Rent-a-Duck

4th March 2015: Hamburg Reeperbahn (St. Pauli): Germans install walls that urinate on passers-by

17th April 2014: Niche On-line Dating Services (Specialities: Herpes, Thrush and Genital Warts)

18th August 2012: How Bavarians and Austrians use their middle fingerFingerhakeln: a men-only sport (did Arnold Schwarzenegger start training this way?).

You can also find some of my more humorous reports in the Alpine Press section of this site using the link here.

some here is some more serious stuff:

12th June 2016 Hospital Serial Killer – Super Bugs Created With Jumping Genes During Bacterial Sex

21st May 2016 Skin Cancer and Cataracts From Your Car – Poor UV Side Protection – Windows Tested From 15 Vehicle Makers

19th April 2016 Torture In The Shower – Face and Body Soap Allergies – Main Suspect: Pears Transparent Soap

3rd March 2016 Using Gene Drives To Change Mosquito Sex In Fight Against Zika, Dengue and Malaria

3rd Feb 2016 Zika Infection Spread By Sex In Dallas – Earlier Sexual Transmission In Colorado – Detailed Symptoms 

31st Jan 2016  Bed Bugs – Insecticide Resistance – Arbovirus Transmission – Zika and Microcephy

13th Jan 2016 Kill Head Lice In A Day With The Newly Developed Plasma Nitcomb From The German Fraunhofer Institute

26th July 2015 Poison in your Washing Machine: Allergic Contact Dermatitis from Laundry Detergents, Softeners, Conditioners and Whiteners

29th December 2012: Spreading diarrhea and vomit through the washing machine– The Norovirus propagator in our kitchen

…please visit chrisduggleby.com again.

Advertisements

Please share your comments on the site with me (or use this box to simply contact me). Add 'confidential' at the top if you do not want your comments to be published. Thanks - Chris

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s