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Today I would like to share with you two profoundly moving events. The first involves the release of my new album and the second concerns a German lady who came back from the grave, literally.
For those fans of the TRANSFORMATES 變 Music Project who have been crying out for an opportunity to download their favourite fun songs and cherish them at their leisure I can now share with you the relevant links with some of our main global music suppliers. The album comes under the title ‘Songs of Fun, Deviants and Eunuchs‘ and includes the following 10 songs plus two bonus tracks:
- Pretty Boy Sally – romantic ballad of a cross dressing peasant boy from the middle ages – includes a violent Viking male genital mutilation incident
- Lycra Larry – the story of a young jogger with a passion for ‘expressive’ clothing who inadvertently exposes himself in front of a ladies clothing shop
- Pussy Cats Xylo Disco – the xylophonic disco number famous for the now classic line: ‘Join the fun and shake your pussies at the disco‘
- My Girlfriends a Nitomaniac – A northern song about everyday romance and dealing with head lice
- Let’s Play with my Dog – A three way relationship involving a canine participant
- Happy Birthday Friend – A jazzy birthday greeting for those with financial constraints
- Deviant Diet – encouraging diet tips from a rather unusual nutritional therapist
- I’m no Coprophagiac – support for poo sniffers everywhere from a well known canine life coach (also known as RISKKO’s first love song)
- Lech mich (the German Licking Song) – bilingual tongue based passion – penned originally for Eurovision
- Xylo Disco – the unplugged version (just me and the xylophone)
The two bonus tracks are regional versions of Pretty Boy Sally for those who considered that the original sounded a bit too posh (for the Brits out there think of them as the Coronation Street and East Enders versions).
Here are links to some of the main music suppliers:
iTunes – here
Spotify – here
Google play – here
Amazon – here
You can find out more about the songs – including more detailed blog articles about each – on the TRANSFORMATES 變 website using the link here. All the videos can be viewed on the YouTube playlist using the link below:
Now let’s move on to the German Lady who came back from being dead
In my oil industry days I visited the German Town of Gelsenkirchen many times to help my colleagues with their management problems (yes they really enjoyed my visits!). Therefore one article especially caught my attention in this morning’s German press describing an incident in a Gelsenkirchen funeral parlour.
The staff in the funeral parlour were getting ready to finish work for the day and had locked the bodies of the latest dear departed souls into a freezer room for overnight storage. As they were doing some final paper-work in the office they suddenly heard screaming sounds coming from inside the freezer. As this was somewhat unusual they decided to take a look inside.
When they opened the door of the cool room and turned on the lights they were astounded to see that one of the body sacks had been unzipped, the woman inside had her eyes open wide and was screaming her lungs out. She was not dead at all but clearly somewhat distraught to find herself being prepared for her own burial.
Earlier that day an old people’s home had asked the funeral parlour staff to collect the body of the deceased 92 year old. One of the nursing home staff had discovered that the lady had stopped breathing and had called the doctor who shortly afterwards wrote out the death certificate. After the lady’s family had paid their last respects the body was removed to the funeral parlour.
The managing director of the funeral parlour commented to the press that he was relieved that the lady ‘awoke’ while his staff were still within earshot. Clearly for the staff concerned (as well as the lady) this event had been quite a trauma. The managing director could not recall any other ‘resurrection‘ occurrences in recent times.
The local police are investigating whether there was any kind of transgression by the doctor who wrote out the death certificate. Sadly on Monday, while in hospital, the lady passed away (again). For German readers you can find more about this story here.
Certainly this was quite a shocking incident and I for one will let my next of kin know that I would like to have my mobile phone with me at all times up until when they start removing my body parts (which I have left for medical research – with the clear instruction that if I wake up while they are cutting bits off they must stop immediately). Well you can’t be too sure can you!
Some readers, perhaps prompted by this story, may prefer some rather more uplifting and heavenly music rather than the fun songs mentioned above. If you are one of these please take a look at my, slightly more serious, baroque interpretations which can be found here.